Talking to your parents about the challenges of aging is never easy. It’s normal to feel apprehension, even guilt, about suggesting that maybe your parents need some help to maintain their independence. But it is important to have these conversations, especially when it comes to the health and safety of the people we love.
Here are some things you can do to make this conversation a little easier and, hopefully, make your parents more receptive to accepting some help. It’s natural to want to stay independent and self-sufficient for as long as possible. But the reality is aging sometimes means needing a little help to remain as independent as possible; remote monitoring is one way to help do that. Where to start:
- Start with empathy
- Make it collaborative
- Find the right tool for the job
- Be open to change
Start with empathy
As you plan to have this conversation with your parent(s), it helps to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine having your own kids tell you that you couldn’t be fully independent anymore. It might hurt your feelings and make you resentful; and it can be painful being forced to confront what might be an uncomfortable reality.
You won’t get very far if your elderly parent(s) feel like you are forcing them into something without considering their feelings. Ask what is important to them with respect to aging in place and respectfully focus your discussion on keeping your loved one healthy and in their home for as long as possible.
Just being able to have this conversation openly, honestly, and from a place of compassion will go a long way in helping you get the results you want: safer parents.
Finally, give them a little bit of warning that this is something you want to talk about. This can be a difficult conversation to have even in the best circumstances, but if you spring it on your parent(s) out of the blue they are likely to get defensive or shut it down entirely.
Make it collaborative
Come to the table with an open mind. No matter how much research you’ve done on the best emergency alert systems or the most reliable remote health monitoring services, you’re going to face resistance if you don’t include your parent(s) in the process.
It never hurts to start by asking questions. Try asking your parent:
- What health issues/accidents they are hoping to avoid
- What kind of remote health and safety monitoring they are comfortable using
- What kind of privacy concerns do they have
- If they’d like to do some research to help choose the tools
The more involved your parents are from start to finish, the more likely they are to stick with whatever product or service you choose. Even if you find the perfect health monitoring system, it isn’t going to work if your parents aren’t bought in on the idea of using one in the first place.
Try making a list of things you would like a remote health and safety monitoring system to do, and not do. If you can create a checklist that you both agree on, you’ve done the hardest part.
Work together to understand the technology
There are various types of elderly remote monitoring solutions out there, and they are all a little different. It’s important to understand what your parents need help with so that you can work together.
Some of the most common monitoring devices people need are:
- Emergency alert systems
- Blood pressure monitoring
- Glucose monitoring
- Medication adherence
- Blood oxygen level monitoring
- Activity level monitoring
Remember, whatever you choose needs to be easy to use for everyone involved. If it is complicated or requires using too many new devices, they are likely to either give up or not start at all.
Don’t get discouraged
The reality is, caregiving is hard. Getting your parents on board with a remote monitoring system or emergency alert service is a big life change. If they are struggling, don’t get upset. Instead, continue to stay positive. The only way for this to stick is for you to be a source of encouragement and support.
The important thing is that you and your parents find something that works for both of you to help keep them healthy and give you a greater peace of mind. Keep in mind that care needs can change as your parents age. The best solution is the one that works for you.
What is Connected Caregiver?
At Connected Caregiver we have committed ourselves to equipping caregivers with resources and tools such as care coordination and logistics, remote health monitoring and remote safety monitoring to make caregiving a little easier.
We believe no family caregiver should ever feel overwhelmed and alone. The incredible people who commit their time and energy to ensure the safety of their loved ones deserve the very best resources to safeguard their families and their own lives. Most of all, they deserve to feel in control and confident in their ability to care for the people they care about most.